03 November 2010

Haiku 2010/307

sitting at my desk
flotsam and jetsam float by
I am a tidepool


Sibyl said...

Really lovely, that one. I am more of an eddy, or backwater, myself. I have been debating whether to reveal the story behind "you are dead to me" as a final haiku line. I suppose as long as I think of myself as mere virtual flotsam I can cope. So, we used to make haiku at the dinner table every night. One person set a topic and then all of us (husband, then-10-year-old daughter, sometimes hapless guests) would silently be counting syllables until dessert. Trying to make reasonable haiku under pressure meant there was no chance to be contemplative or mindful, so often it devolved into who could make the others laugh most (I know limerick would have been a better form, but my husband has such a lax definition of what rhymes that things get tense). My daughter assures me that "dead to me" was in response to my husband's haiku of the night: "I want a new bike/to go faster than my wife/BMW." Despite that crassness (he still does not have a BMW motorcycle, btw), I am able to appreciate real haiku when I read one.

pjwv said...

Thank you on many counts! I love the story. I think it's actually more difficult to write funny haiku than contemplative or mindful ones, so if you were turning them out regularly that's quite an achievement. Counting "W" as three syllables is hilarious and I wish I'd thought of it!