downtown Hayward, California
detail of an Etruscan bronze sculpture of Veiovis (Jupiter), seen at the Legion of Honor as part of the special exhibit The Etruscans: From the Heart of Ancient Italy
The first piece was Là ci darem la mano, from Don Giovanni; as the recital took place on Bloomsday, this was a lovely but perhaps inadvertent homage to the day, as that duet is one of the musical notes ripping through Leopold Bloom's day in Dublin. Ketelsen was joined by soprano Shannon Crowley & they were accompanied by pianist Deven Shah. (stage director Claire Choquette supplied minimalist but effective movements for the dramatic pieces). Ketelsen as Giovanni (& later as Scarpia) is sexy & seductive; the commanding but nuanced authority of his voice is familiar but what struck me, seeing him at relatively close range, is how good an actor he is: convincing, insightful, nothing overdone; he could hold the stage even without his distinguished singing. Crowley was charmingly conflicted as Zerlina, & the next two numbers, L'invito by Rossini & Stornello by Verdi, for which she was accompanied by Matheson, confirmed her strength in the pert/perky/winsome repertoire; I'm sure there are sassy servant girls & clever peasant sweethearts in her future.
Two sets, both accompanied by Matheson, closed out the first half: a trio of Italian songs (Sognai by Schira, Il poveretto by Verdi, & Nebbie by Respighi) sung by tenor Chester Seungyup Han & a trio of Korean songs (San A / O Mountain by Dong Soo Shin, Ma Joong / Welcome by Hak Joon Yoon), & Mot I Jeo / Unable to forget by Hye-Young Cho) sung by baritone Paul Jang: powerhouse passions to send us into intermission. Han's rendition of Il poveretto was for me the highlight of his set, a song about an old soldier begging for any small coin so he could buy some sort of meal that turned out to be surprisingly touching. It made me think of beggars I had passed that day, particularly one lying on the sidewalk moaning that he couldn't even buy a cup of coffee. The three Italian songs were not ones I had heard before, but the Korean songs seemed a greater rarity & were a real treat; recitals so seldom step off the German-French-Italian-OK-maybe-some-English song path. Musically they sounded to my ears like American folk songs. The song to the mountain was particularly moving. Both Han & Jang really let it rip in their sets.
The entire second half was an excerpt from Tosca, with Ketelsen as Scarpia, soprano Charlotte Kelso as Tosca, Chester Seungyup Han as Cavaradossi, Paul Jang as Sciarrone, & Ryan Bryce Johnson as Spoletta, with Carrie-Ann Matheson as a fluid & evocative accompanist. Matheson started off by giving us a plot summary of what was happening. I'm not sure this crowd needed such a summary, but Matheson knows her audience better than I do.
(left to right: soprano Charlotte Kelso, bass-baritone Kyle Ketelsen, pianist Carrie-Ann Matheson)Even without a full orchestra, & even in excerpt, Tosca is a musically & dramatically powerful opera. It's one I have mixed feelings about, though: the only interesting (& even, in a weird way, sympathetic) character, as far as I'm concerned, is Scarpia, the reactionary head of the secret police: not the choice the opera or my heart would really want a listener to make. Cavaradossi is passionate & romantic & mostly a cipher. As for Floria Tosca, let's look at her behavior just in this Act 2 excerpt: Cavaradossi is the one tied up & tortured, with blood running down his face, but she insists she's the one who is being tortured & she is just too sensitive to take it. That's why, against Cavaradossi's wishes, she betrays his compatriot (& also, by association, him). Her lover can keep quiet under torture but she, under the mere thought of torture, breaks his confidence & betrays his trust. Then, during her big aria, she insists that she has never harmed a single person – really? I just heard you sell out Angelotti – & she doesn't deserve any of this anyway because she has brought flowers & jewels to adorn the church. (Do I need Latin Catholic trigger warnings?) Yet, despite her efforts to bribe the Creator with His own creations, bad things have happened to her (of course to her; forget Angelotti & even Cavaradossi). There are just too many bitch, please! moments with her.
That aside: the opera is, as I said, musically & dramatically effective, & the excerpt was gripping. Ketelsen is a superb Scarpia. Again, he doesn't overdo it, but he makes very clear the sadism, the sexual tingle, underlying the police chief's machinations. He doesn't indulge in snarling & bellowing (genuinely powerful people don't need to bellow); he even amuses himself with his sadism. Kelso was compelling & even touching (at least, as touching as I will find this character) as Tosca. with lovely rich tones for Vissi d'arte. Han really belted out his Vittoria! Vitorria! triumphantly, which is pretty much Cavaradossi's business in this act. The smaller parts were well taken; Jang portrayed amusing confusion on Sciarrone's part at the start again / stop again orders of the seemingly capricious Scarpia (the torturer, being in the other room torturing, of course doesn't hear the conversation with Tosca). It was quite a show, received very enthusiastically by the full house. Ketelsen & Matheson followed it with an encore, Cole Porter's very funny Tale of an Oyster, made even more hilarious by Ketelsen's commanding tones & authoritative stage presence. He also nicely delineated the oyster's different emotions at each stage of its journey, from Oyster Bay to high-society meal to being upchucked back into the Bay, sadder but wiser for his social-climbing adventure.
(left to right: tenor Chester Seungyup Han, pianist Carrie-Ann Matheson, bass-baritone Kyle Ketelsen, soprano Charlotte Kelso, tenor Ryan Bryce Johnson, & baritone Paul Jang)Now I will complain about the venue. I have been to the Conservatory's Barbro Osher Hall several times. First something good: once you're up there, in a glass-encased room on the 11th floor of the Conservatory's new building, there are attractive views down Van Ness Avenue & across the street to Davies Hall & the Opera House, & it's very pretty at night, with all the lights of the city sparkling below you. When you see the room from the street, it glows like a jewel.
But: the room (it's not really a "hall") is described as "intimate", but I'd describe it as "small", which is not the same thing. The chairs, the cheap plastic kind that can be stacked up easily & moved out of the way, are not very comfortable. But the real problem is getting to & from the room. I've been to several concerts there & only once were people allowed up to wait when they arrived. Every other time, we have to collect in the lower lobby of the building, where there are not nearly enough seats, so concert-goers, who are often elderly, cranky people (& I include myself in that) have to stand, often for long periods, before we can get upstairs, where we have to stand waiting again. There is usually some sort of rough line that forms, with the policing that that involves (on Tuesday there was a man keenly invested in letting everyone know he was first in line; I had arrived at least 10 minutes before he did, but didn't bother disputing precedence with him, as I had taken one of the few seats available & preferred that to standing the whole time). And that line he was so intent on? It's just to get on the elevator! The audience has to be led up, one carload at a time, to the 11th floor. Once there, as I said, a line has to form again before we can get into the actual room (which, again, I'm not going to call a hall). There is lots of anxiety & fraying tempers, as seats are not reserved & so where you are when the doors open affects where you sit during the concert. And I am far from the only person who cares a lot about where he or she sits.
And then, after the concert, you have to do the same thing in reverse: line up by the elevators to be taken down one carload at a time. And if you need to use the restrooms before descending, because of course you do, you have to get through the crowd jammed up by the elevators, most of whom stand there staring like angry lumps even after you explain that you're not trying to cut ahead of them, you're trying to get past them to the restrooms. I don't really understand why a recital like this, which could have drawn a larger crowd, wasn't in a larger venue. Even if the size of the room weren't a problem, the logistics definitely are. Not sure what the Conservatory was thinking when they came up with this arrangement. But when I see the Osher Recital Hall as a venue, I definitely think twice about attending.
BLOOM
I wanted then to have now concluded. Nightdress was never. Hence this. But tomorrow is a new day will be. Past was is today. What now is will then tomorrow as now was be past yester.
VIRAG
(Prompts into his ear in a pig's whisper.) Insects of the day spend their brief existence in reiterated coition, lured by the smell of the inferiorly pulchritudinous female possessing extendified pudendal verve in dorsal region. Pretty Poll! (His yellow parrotbeak gabbles nasally.) They had a proverb in the Carpathians in or about the year five thousand five hundred and fifty of our era. One tablespoonful of honey will attract friend Bruin more than half a dozen barrels of first choice malt vinegar. Bear's buzz bothers bees. But of this apart. At another time we may resume. We were very pleased, we others. (He coughs and, bending his brow, rubs his nose thoughtfully with a scooping hand.) You shall find that these night insects follow the light. An illusion for remember their complex unadjustable eye. For all these knotty points see the seventeenth book of my Fundamentals of Sexology or the Love Passion which Doctor L. B. says is the book sensation of the year. Some, to example, there are again whose movements are automatic. Perceive. That is his appropriate sun. Nightbird nightsun nighttown. Chase me, Charley! Buzz!
Once again, Happy Bloomsday to my mountain flowers.
Alcina is one of Handel's "magic" operas, meaning there are plentiful opportunities for visual splendor & shifting scenic extravaganzas, so although it works very well concert-style as a psychological study, staging adds to the fun & the sheer theatricality of the piece, but, as I said, the opera can stand on its own without baroque visual effects. One of the fascinating things about the piece is the potential ambiguity of character: how sincere is Alcina's love? She is a Circe-like sorceress who lives on her island, surrounded by wild beasts, rocks, & even waves that were once lovers whom she tired of. But she does seem – possibly – genuinely attached to the knight Ruggiero; even at the end, when it is clear he is leaving her, are her warnings to him motivated by sincere concern, or jealousy, or vindictiveness, or some combination of all those things?
Ruggiero has been rescued (or "rescued") from Alcina's pleasure island by his mentor & tutor, Melisso, & his once & future beloved, the Woman Warrior Bradamante (disguised for protection from hostile magic as her brother Ricciardo). There are further complications involving Alcina's sister Morgante, her general Oronte, & Oberto, a pageboy searching for his father, who has been transformed by Alcina into a lion. I will reiterate my usual advice on the plots of baroque operas, which is never read the plot summary, which will, inevitably, leave you hopelessly confused, with X in disguise as Y the beloved of Z & girls playing boys & boys who sound like girls playing military heroes: it will all make perfect sense on stage. And I don't think of these plots as fluff, or as some convoluted excuse for lots of pretty arias. There is a great deal of psychological insight & truthful dramatic strength in how life is portrayed in such operas. I find a more accurate reflection of the confusions & vagaries of love in baroque opera, with its gender-bent confusions & longing for love & uncertainties about what is real & lasting, than in any sweeping verismo statement of grand passions.
To move on to the main quartet: Sarah Couden, well known as a commanding yet often whimsical presence in local productions of baroque operas, brought sincerity & pathos to Bradamante. As Morgana, Alcina's sister, another well-known local singer, Shawnette Sulker, was kittenish & hilarious but also, when the character expressed what is (possibly?) sincere regret over her straying love, genuinely moving. You couldn't blame Oronte for being won over, even if neither he nor we could be quite certain how sincere Morgana is. There was an unaccustomed bit of roughness, I thought, in Sulker's first aria, but she very soon righted herself & her voice was sweet & insinuating thereafter & her acting was reliably funny & on point. Courtney Miller as Ruggiero was elegantly assertive both as a lover & then as a warrior (though, for a concert performance, she maybe should have considered butching up her outfit or appearance a bit; I think some audience members were a bit confused by the femme looks of the valiant hero). And anyone who has heard Nikola Printz knows that they are brilliantly cast as the sorceress Alcina, commanding the stage with physical presence (even though Printz does not seem to be a very tall person) & vocal splendor; you truly believe that Alcina has magic powers & can control both her lovers & her magic island. Printz's interestingly androgynous face (they would be excellent casting as Joan of Arc) & clothing (a combination of soldier-like boots & flowing sheer tops in different colors for each of the three acts & necktied shirts) helped dramatize the erotic & subversive lure that captured so many supposedly strong men. Using not just sheer vocal volume but nuance, Printz held the center of the romantic & political complications of the plot. After Alcina's first aria, Printz delicately raised a finger & wiped first one side of her lips & then the other: the sort of understated but telling gesture that reveals a character in all her decisive & certain power. Festival Opera head Zachary Gordin directed the staging & Derek Tam led the ensemble from the harpsichord; the contributions of both were valuable parts of a memorable production.
One of the blessings of our musical moment is the revival of baroque opera, once thought an exotic blossom forever extinct, but in our time we have seen powerful & revelatory stagings of these formerly forgotten works. This year is a particularly good one for Handel operas in the Bay Area; not only did we have this Alcina, as well as the one in April at the Conservatory, but next month Philharmonia Baroque will be performing Tolomeo & in August West Edge is doing Rinaldo. All is not yet lost.
detail of a plate attributed to the Rosoni Painter, active circa 580 - 550 BCE, seen at the Legion of Honor as part of the special exhibit The Etruscans: From the Heart of Ancient Italy
There is a whole backstory to the setting, centered on a museum visitor who is accidentally locked in at night & relives her own past traumas through vitrined artifacts of Elektra's story, but honestly the staging works even if you don't pick up on that framing, or some of the setting's other particulars (& honestly many of them did not come through to me the other night, possibly a combination of my location in the house & my troubled vision). But the museum is such a vivid, fruitful metaphor, not only for the way we view the operatic repertory (exhibits from the past, the dust blown off for our continued amusement) but our own emotional lives: the Memory Palace converted into a series of labeled exhibits of our grief, our pain, our occasional glimpse of glory, which sometimes means just (in every sense of the word) revenge.
The other element is of course Strauss's call for & expert handling of enormous instrumental resources, the largest pit orchestra (95 players) in SF Opera's history (pit orchestra, because Messiaen's Saint François d'Assise calls for 97 players but 8 of them are on stage, according to the Opera's press department). Eun Sun Kim led this massive force with aplomb, giving clarity & searing forward thrust to the angsty strains. There were a few moments (one of the early statements of the final dance theme) where the volume seemed as high as it could go maybe a bit earlier than it should go there, but then climaxing early is not necessarily a misjudgment in this opera. Richard Strauss, even when dealing with the great figures of Greek mythology, is a bit of a carnival barker, with something lubricious & seedy about his music, at least when it's at its best (or perhaps what I'm saying is that that is when & how I prefer him). This may explain some of the discomfort with this composer (is he quite top drawer?) but there's certainly precedent for treating Greek mythology this way: Euripides also cast an eye both cynical & compassionate on these mythological doings. (Treating Sophocles in this way, though, is more of a piquant disjunction, which is not a bad thing.)
We heard Elena Pankratova in the title role, Michaela Schuster as Klytemnestra, Elza van den Heever as Chrysothemis, Kyle Ketelsen as Orest, & William Burden as Aegisth; all were splendid in the face of this work's extensive & almost excessive dramatic & musical demands; I particularly admired van den Heever as a more forceful than usual sister, Ketelsen as the implacable avenger, & Burden in the thankless role of Aegisth. When the opera ends in this staging, we do not have Elektra's triumphant, ritualistic dance of death; instead, while the murder of her father in the tub replays overhead on video, she collapses under the weight of recurrent grief & remembered trauma: a psychologically acute moment with which to send us back out into our world.
detail of the Portrait of Bianca degli Utili Maselli and Her Children by Lavinia Fontana, now at the Legion of Honor
Il barbiere di Siviglia has a long first act, so the intermission line at the lower-level men's room was even longer than usual. The man in front of me, probably late 30s / early 40s, said he had never seen Barber before & he was enjoying it a lot.
"But I'll bet you knew a lot of the music, didn't you?" I asked.
"Yes," he said.
"Bugs Bunny, right?" I responded. He laughed & said he had been surprised to realize when the music started that nine-year-old him was being prepped for the opera by Chuck Jones. And here he thought it was just Saturday morning cartoons!
Not only are snatches of the music mainstays of the more sophisticated & perennially popular mid-century cartoons, but this opera has not only held but been a mainstay of the operatic stage since its premiere in Rome in 1816. All this makes it easy to take Barbiere for granted. I had skipped its last few appearances in San Francisco; in fact, I realized when I glanced at my Opera List that I had not seen it live in 20 years. This stylish & witty production by Emilio Sagi, with a powerhouse & mellifluous cast of singers, reminded me why Barbiere is an evergreen.
The staging is evocative enough of an appropriate time & place without being burdened with cumbersome "realism" or pointed updating. Generous use is made of a troupe of Spanish dancers, who set a stylish flamenco-tinged tone. There are lovely surreal touches throughout, such as the chorus crawling out from under the buildings that dominates the right side of the stage, or instruments (a guitar for a serenade, for example) being handed out from that crawl space. The buildings, which are both the outdoors &, with some adaptations, indoors of Doctor Bartolo's residence, resemble those toy-like structures you see in the backgrounds of early Italian Renaissance paintings, only here instead of pastels, the buildings are all white. The sets & costumes are mostly whites & tans, with touches of color added as the story progresses, until we end with bright splashes of pink & red & a video of colorful fireworks exploding as Almaviva & Rosina drive off in a cherry-red car.
Benjamin Manis led a well-paced & stylish orchestra. There are two casts in this revival; here's the one I heard last Friday: Joshua Hopkins as Figaro, Maria Kataeva as Rosina, Levy Sekgapane as Count Almaviva, Renato Girolami as Doctor Bartolo; then, in all performances, Riccardo Fassi plays Don Basilio, Catherine Cook plays Berta, Olivier Zerouali is Fiorello, Gabriel Natal-Báez is Ambrogio, Thomas Kinch an officer, & Andrew Truett a notary. There was outstanding work from all of them. Sekgapane tossed off & held high notes with deceptive & charming ease; he was given his long final aria, & it was a pleasure to hear, though I did wonder why Rossini hadn't given equal time to Rosina & Figaro. It would have been delightful to hear even more of Hopkins & Kataeva. Girolami manages to make Bartolo amusingly pompous & calculating without overdoing it. The cast radiates a sense of fun; even Ambrogio's silent dance with Berta is joyous. Scenes that are often sort of a trial (like Almaviva disguised as a music instructor wishing peace & joy on an increasingly aggravated Bartolo) are genuinely bright & funny.
If I sound slightly surprised at how fresh & fun the show was, & how much I enjoyed it, that's probably because I am. I had seen the Met livecast of Barbiere last year, & though I found it on the whole quite entertaining, I also felt that at a number of points the plot machinery was showing its age: cranking & creaking rustily (always a hazard with works rooted in the commedia tradition). There are comedies whose every production – whose every performance even – reveals new angles & insights & flashes of color; Così fan tutte is my go-to example of these opalescent operas. Barbiere is not one of these. It gleams like a shiny, even brilliant machine, reliably producing an entirely respectable & to varying degrees enjoyable product. I thought this production was as good as Barbiere is going to get, making this old work, so alien to us in many of its rooted assumptions, into something fresh, funny, stylish, invigorating. This was the right way to break my drought with this particular war-horse.
a hat designed by Caroline Reboux, seen at SFMOMA as part of the special exhibit Matisse's Femme au chapeau: A Modern Scandal
The first time I went to the California Antiquarian Book Fair, it was in downtown Oakland, near where I was working at the time. That year's theme was the Wizard of Oz, always a lure. The themes are pretty loose, however, & many vendors have their specialties that are completely unrelated to the theme. The fair is in northern California every other year; on its last two visits up here it's been at Pier 27 on the Embarcadero in San Francisco.
That first time, while wandering down the overwhelming aisles, I saw a booth offering a signed first American edition of The Handmaid's Tale. That's what I have! thought I. I wonder what it's going for? The answer was $500, so if I want to re-read that book I need to find a cheap paperback, while my signed hardcover sits pristinely on its shelf.
That was the price as of however many years ago that was (the pandemic messed up the neat biannual schedule). Values, of course, go up & down, depending on desire & fashion & other whim-driven parts of a collector's nature.
(the approach to Pier 27)
Here's how I acquired my signed Handmaid's Tale: when the novel came out in 1985, I was working at a publishing house in Boston. A friend was working in a different publishing house, also in Boston. Atwood was going to appear at the Harvard Coop to sign copies of her new book. My friend couldn't get away from work but I could so I told her I would get her a copy as well. When I handed Atwood the second book to sign, I said, with sadly typical clumsiness when speaking to someone I admire but don't know, that the second copy was for a friend who was "chained to her typewriter" (typewriter rather than computer: that's how long ago this was). I just meant that she couldn't get away from work. But as my fancy phrasing came out, I noticed Atwood stiffen ever so slightly. I realized she was probably fearing that my friend was a writer & that I would press her latest manuscript on the famous published author. I figured the best thing to do was to smile & say thank you effusively & then leave, so that's what I did.
Ms Atwood, if I gave you a moment's discomfort on that day in 1985, though undoubtedly it's been long forgotten by you, who have better things to think about, then let me offer my apologies!
Signed books are odd things. If the book & author have achieved classic status, then the value skyrockets: meaning that your love for the book & the author has rendered your beloved signed copy essentially unreadable, therefore voiding the thing for which you love the item. It can then serve no practical purpose in a library, your own or a more official collection; it just connects you by principles of contagious magic, like the relics of the saints, with the beloved author, & with those words you now must read in a less costly form.
If only that were the only time in life when our love neuters into uselessness the thing that originally made us fall in love!
Despite all that, I have a deep & irrational love of signed books.
I am reminded of standing in line in a church in Padua, many years ago, to see the tongue of the famously eloquent preacher Saint Anthony of Padua. There I was, surrounded by stooped black-clad crones, waiting in line to see the shriveled, blackened relic. The crones, to my malicious mind, were also shriveled, blackened relics, though lacking in eloquence; Saint Anthony, though of Padua, was born outside of Lisbon, which made him a favorite with the Portuguese, & I have a beautiful old lithograph of him which once belonged to a great-aunt of mine, a singularly unpleasant woman whose conventional outward piety did not prevent her from wreaking damage on all around her, damage which went down through generations, as such damage does.
Book Fair drinking game: down a shot every time you see someone with a New Yorker tote bag.
Of course we're looking for "ephemera". We ourselves are ephemera, & like calls to like.
What we collect is a form of autobiography. I grew up reading the Oz books over & over, which is why I went to that first Fair, the one with Oz as the theme. Each time I've gone to the Fair most of the vendors have something that grabs me but as a sort of relief, there are some booths I can skip, such as those devoted to early medical publications: not my interest, but I could see they were magnets for others. I am happy to leave such things to those who want them. I have enough costly interests as it is.
I heard one young Indian man ask another if he had seen any books in Sanskrit. That made me realize that though you'd think a place like the Book Fair would be a goldmine for fascinating or hilarious overheard conversations, & maybe it is & I was just in the wrong place at the wrong time, most of what I overheard was along the lines of "That looks like my copy of . . ." or "So I'll see you in Paris / Copenhagen / London. . . "
(Not a patch on the time I was at the Legion of Honor, looking at Ferlinghetti prints in a side room, when I heard an old lady out in the hall announce loudly, "Every night I wash & perfume my feet. I don't know why, I just do.")
These Fairs, with their double floors each holding dozens of vendors, can be overwhelming. Almost every booth has something of interest, from old prints (baroque European, Meiji Japanese, theatrical flyers of all times & places, all desirable) to rare books to fascinating photographs. It's a lot to take in. Fortunately or not, arthritic joints make it difficult for me to crouch down & see what's on the lower shelves, so a sort of inadvertent winnowing goes on.
The joints restrict me in one way, & poor eyesight in another. Some print, depending on the size & distance, is difficult for me to read. This means that I'm deprived of the harmless but enjoyable voyeurism of looking at what other people are reading on the train.
I made what I thought was the witty & thematically appropriate sartorial choice of my First Folio t-shirt, but the only actual compliment I received was on my bracelets, which I had pulled on without much thought. This seems allegorical, but of what I will let the reader decide.
I sent this photo to a friend who responded by asking if I were cosplaying as the First Folio.
The Antiquarian Book Fair seems like an obvious place for cosplay, but I've never seen an instance of it: no bonnet-clad Austenites, no exotically appareled Byrons, not even an all-purpose dramatic black cape.. Does the cosplay crowd skew too young for something with "Antiquarian" in its name? Is cosplay more of a "fringes of pop culture" thing? But if so, what could be more fringe in our overly digital age than an interest in paper ephemera?
Maybe next time the Fair is here I should dress up as Aldus Manutius.
Some of the beauties at these fairs are clearly out of my financial reach, & so become akin to museum exhibitions. Then there is the dangerous amount: one large enough to give me pause, but still manageable, "manageable" in the sense that an anaconda finds devouring a warthog manageable: it can absorb it, but it takes a while & there's a distorting effect on the desired slender lines.
Since childhood I have had a low-level but constant fascination with the celebrated Ghent Altarpiece of the Van Eyck Brothers. I tried once, when a child, to duplicate it, using my deluxe 64-pack of Crayola crayons. I would not regard the results as a great success. Two years ago at the Book Fair, I was struggling to take it all in (having just discovered that there was an entire second floor of vendors) when I saw IT: a large & glorious 19th-century reproduction of the Altarpiece, issued by the Arundel Society. I was in one of my ill-advised fits of trying to be fiscally responsible, so I held off, feeling I should consider it at least over night, as it was definitely going for a warthog-in-the-anaconda amount. By the next dawn I had realized that yes, it was imperative that I own that piece. I headed back to San Francisco, but BART was full-on BARTing & between stalled trains & redirected destinations & unexpected transfers, I ended up getting to the Fair over an hour later than I had planned. I immediately headed to that vendor & made a beeline right to the Altarpiece at the back of his booth. My first inkling, as I stood there staring, practically drooling, that something was wrong was that the proprietor didn't come over to talk about the piece or anything, although I must have been glowing with the desire of ownership. After a few minutes I told him I wanted to buy it. He was sorry to say he had sold it five minutes earlier! (So, yes, if BART had been behaving, it would have been mine!) I practically collapsed at his feet. He did take my information down in case he should come across another example, but I think we both knew how unlikely that was. He headed back to England & I to the East Bay. I wonder if he ever thinks about that incident; I do almost every day. I had never known that such a thing as this Arundel Society reproduction existed, & now its absence is a gaping emotional hole in my life.
So often it's the extravagance we decline, the temptation we don't give in to, that we truly regret.
That was the same year an artist at the de Young Open ghosted me when I tried to buy her work. It was also the year I had to replace my roof, my furnace, & my hot water heater, all after losing my job. I wondered what cruel joke the Universe or Fate or whoever (some antic saint?) was playing on me: I had to spend so much on the literal roof over my head, when Art, that might have reconciled me to reality, kept eluding me.
Yes, I know, I know. Why does the Universe keep teaching me lessons I've already learned?
The absurdist emotional economy of those bad with money: "I had to spend [horrific amount X] on [necessary maintenance-type thing that absolutely had to be done] so I am justified in spending [slightly less horrific amount] on [thing I actually want]."
Just as there are people who consider themselves "culturally Jewish", I think (or at least I'm working on this theory) that there are people who are "aesthetically Catholic". One manifestation: veneration for the relics of the saints; see above re: signed books, & for another example, we have The Typewriter of Djuna Barnes.
Towards the end of the Fair, I circled back to one vendor & there was a young man asking the proprietor in excited tones how he had managed to get the typewriter of Djuna Barnes?!? The proprietor told him it came from a man in New York City, a long-time friend of the author. When the excited young man left, I asked where the typewriter was: right at my feet! (The arthritic joints had prevented me from seeing it, of course.) I asked permission to take a photo, because I try to be well-behaved.
Yes, I am slightly amused that all those venerating this relic of the celebrated Lesbian are men.
The reason I circled back to that vendor was I had noticed on his upper shelf a stunning framed broadside (I love poetry broadsides, & feel not enough publishers take advantage of this undoubtedly lucrative market). The poem was North Haven, Elizabeth Bishop's elegy for Robert Lowell – signed by Bishop! I've mentioned how much I love signed items, & I could read this one, as it was a framed sheet, not a book. But I told the vendor I would need to think about it. And I did: for about five minutes. I reminded myself, with the shadow of the Ghent Altarpiece hanging over me, that I knew I would end up wanting, craving, needing the piece, & if I didn't buy it now & carry it off with me, I would have to pay for shipping, & then worry about its safe arrival, & doesn't Socrates assert that the main guiding light of a wise life is to know thyself?
Like a wise man, I knew myself, & what I would & would not regret. Reader, I purchased it.